In this week’s edition of #relationshipswork Wednesday, I’d like to call attention to something so many people forget while in relationships and marriages. Relationships and marriages are ongoing engagements that require ongoing deposits from equally vested individuals. I know that may sound elementary, but if we assess the landscape of what’s taking place in today’s relationships, we’d notice a significant number of people who don’t understand this fundamental concept. There would be fewer arguments if people took a position of making more deposits into their relationships through connecting, operating selflessly and understanding the ‘we’ versus ‘me’ approach to relationships. In order for us to make withdrawals, we must continue making deposits…TOGETHER!

For instance, consider  a bank account. You can only withdraw money from a bank account if there are funds available. In order for funds to be available, money has to be deposited. If you keep withdrawing money, but fail to make deposits, the money eventually runs out. Relationships work the same way. Two people need to make deposits into their relationship so the relationship grows in value, and so there is always something to draw from. Not to mention, relationships are often more enjoyable when the people involved know their significant other is mutually interested in contributing. Trouble in paradise generally occurs when one person is a giver and the other is a taker, or the relationship involves two takers. In either case, the relationship eventually runs out of funds (becomes overdrawn).

Here are 5 ways to make deposits in your relationship:

1. Pray Together – This may sound overly religious to some, but there is something powerful when two people submit themselves to God. Jointly asking for protection, opportunities and blessings is very powerful when shared with someone you love. This is a great way to start your day!

2. Write a Letter – In the current era of text messaging, email and video chats, personalized letters are a lost art. Letters still carry a lot of PERSONALIZED weight in the minds of the recipients because they stand out as being thoughtful and intentional. Why not try expressing a thought or sentiment via a short and sweet letter?

3. Give a Gift – Come up with a gift you can give to your significant other, under one circumstance, it has to be under $15. The point of this gift-giving idea isn’t to show how much you can spend, but how creative you can be. Take this as a weekly or monthly challenge together.

4. Schedule Daily Talk Time – In a time where so many people are busy with work, children and outside responsibilities, gone are the days when people talk intentionally. No wonder people “grow apart” in their relationships and marriages. That tends to happen when you co-exist, but fail to cultivate growth together. Set aside time EVERY day to sit and talk together. You can even schedule evening walks around your neighborhood or apartment community so you’re also getting your fitness in at the same time.

5. Encourage a Goal or Dream – Nothing means more to a person than to encourage an important goal or dream. Your significant other ought to be the first person to encourage something they know is important to you. Why would you ever entertain someone who does not support your dreams and goals? This should be one of the factors assessed when considering someone to be a part of your life. Conversely, you should know what your significant other’s goals and dreams are. If you don’t, be sure to ask during daily talk time (see #4 above.) Once you learn what your significant other’s goals or dreams are, be sure to intentionally encourage or assist them with taking steps to achieve them.

There are many other ways to make deposits in your relationships/marriages, but these are a great place to start the process. Feel free to share your deposit tips in the comments.


If you want or need coaching in the area of relationships, don’t hesitate to click the button below and schedule time to speak with me. I will help you grow in the area of dating, relationships and/or marriage.