I often speak about the importance of friendship in initiating and developing strong intimate, romantic relationships. The article written by The Marriage Coaches confirms how friendship is KEY to maintaining healthy, prosperous, marriage relationships too. Please don’t underestimate the importance of friendship while interviewing/evaluating a potential mate for your life. The one thing worse than being unmarried is being married to WRONG person! I always ask myself if I can see myself being with a person on a deserted island ’til death do us part? If the answer is no…you may be selecting the wrong person.
I can’t wait to incorporate some of the ideas shared in this article when I get married :). Please click the link below to read in its entirety:
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I have been reminded by God time and time again that only He has the ability to orchestrate the footsteps of our lives. Unfortunately, in a quest for personal focus on self and the desire to create successes on our own, we make the mistake of trying to validate something that He never ordained or blessed into existence.
I have taken much ridicule about the process I promote for relationship development. However, I continue to hold strongly to the view that we were never meant to ‘date’ according to the ways we see demonstrated in our current society. If the current method was working, then we would see a lot more success stories than we do. The way today’s dating model is constructed causes people to inadvertently put the cart before the horse. It is impossible to operate in a fully committed relationship without having some knowledge of the person you are connecting to. Thus, confirming the need to operate as friends before exploring any other level of relationship. I know…the dreaded ‘friend zone’ is one of discomfort and sometimes frustration, but it really does expose the true reality of who someone is. Also, the dreaded ‘friend zone’ gives you the benefit of assessing whether or not a relationship may truly ‘fit’ in the lives of two people.
Do you want to learn how someone communicates? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
Do you want to learn how someone operates under adversity? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
Do you want to learn the habits of a person? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
The ‘friend zone’ gives two people the opportunity to build a foundation before adding any other complexities into the relationship (i.e., sex, commitment, other superficial expectations). The keys to relational success hinge on two individual’s ability to communicate effectively, operate under the same values and beliefs, and resolve conflict (see communication). Without these core pieces in place, a relationship will struggle. Fortunately, establishing a true friendship gives great insight on communication, beliefs, and conflict resolution.
The moral of this blog is simple…
Most failed relationships can be prevented if two people pay attention to the signs. If God reveals that a relationship isn’t a good fit, then don’t try and force it! Otherwise, you’ll only have yourself to blame for making an erroneous and anxious decision.
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