No matter how much you attempt to progress professionally, it has no direct benefit on your ability to attract and experience love. It doesn’t matter how many meetings you lead, how many deals you close, or how many business problems you solve.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve heard news come out about the failed marriages of politicians, athletes, entertainers, pastors, and various business leaders. Unfortunately, their million-dollar net worth had no impact on their ability to save their marriages. The reality is, no matter how much money you have you can’t buy true love.
As I sit back and think about the people in my life who have been able to successfully navigate the peaks and valleys of marriage, it truly comes down to a few key principles:
- Learn the art of friendship. Today’s society has created a cart before the horse mentality in the minds of those seeking relationships. We have been trained to identify someone whom we are attracted to, talk on the phone for a couple of days, go out to dinner and a movie, and then pursue an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, this formula has led us to a culture of practicing divorce. Because we haven’t built a solid friendship with the person we are pursuing an intimate relationship with, it’s very easy to abort ship when things in the relationship start to go awry. True friendship keeps you anchored during trying times. This principle works for the CEO who makes millions of dollars or for the blue-collar worker who makes minimum wage.
On investing, commitment and finding purpose
As we approach the end of the week, I’d like you to take time and discuss “Is Commitment a Lost Art?” with your co-workers and friends to get their thoughts.
The majority of people in our society desire to be in healthy, successful and prosperous relationships. Unfortunately, many of them are unprepared for the twists and turns that accompany commitment in a relationship. In previous generations, there was an emphasis placed on remaining committed even when challenges surface. Contrary to popular belief, commitment isn’t a magical switch that you can turn on and off, but it is a deliberate and dedicated lifestyle a person chooses to live. As I teach during my workshop sessions, commitment is only validated after you’ve been through some sort of opposition.
I know you’re over there thinking, “How can I tell a person’s ability to be committed?” I’m glad you asked. Here are some ways you can begin assessing a person’s capacity for commitment:
1) How committed are they to their family? – People who are uncommitted to those closest to them are a potential risk to you in a relationship. There are exceptions to this assessment, especially if they grew up in an unhealthy environment. However, if a person has never experienced a healthy relationship environment, then how can you expect for them to provide one for you?
Are you being realistic about your worthiness?
There is no shortage of media dedicated to addressing the ‘epidemic’ of singleness in our society.
We’re entertained by men and women who discuss their plights as to why each of them, as a quality candidate, is still single. There are never enough quality men to choose from, women say. There are always too many “high potential” women to sort through, men complain.
And so on and so on.
Unfortunately, too many of us have a higher self-appraisal of ourselves than what others are willing to view as true relationship value. It’s sort of like the homeowner who thinks their home is worth $400,000, when the true market value based on recent sales is really $300,000. Sometimes, you need to be your harshest critic.
On the relationship market, think of yourself as an asset that requires investment.
Continue reading here…
The time is quickly approaching where basketball fans get to witness the two best teams in the NBA battle for the championship. It also marks the period for college athletes to begin their auditions with NBA teams for a chance at being selected as part of the June 28th NBA draft. This process includes camps, individual workouts, weight and speed training and more. For the college elite, being drafted is almost guaranteed…but the slot is where the uncertainty begins to creep in. However, for the majority of college basketball athletes, they will have to begin preparing for life after basketball because they will never be selected.
I had a very interesting conversation with a friend who compared being a single woman to that of waiting to be selected by a team. She says you watch as other women around you receive engagement rings symbolizing their ‘draft’ selection by a team. I never really thought about it like that because I’m a man, but she definitely has a point to at least think about. I’ve always been taught that women have the ‘Power of No,’ and on the surface it’s true.
Consider the following:
- The man sees a woman he has an interest in and the woman has the ability to give approval or denial to his interest.
- The man asks a woman for her number and she has the ability to say yes or no.
- The man asks a woman out on a date and she has the ability to say yes or no.
- The man asks the woman to marry him and she has the ability to say yes or no.
You get the point.
In reviewing the aforementioned points, each begins with the man initiating the action. Well what happens if a woman doesn’t have a man or number of men initiating the action? This process is similar to a college athlete not receiving much interest from NBA teams. Does the woman then go out and begin initiating the action with potential men? Some in our society would say yes. Does this lead to productive and healthy relationships? In my personal opinion…nope but that’s an entirely different blog.
Well what is a woman to do when she has a desire and aspiration to be selected in the MRS Draft? Easy…don’t get discouraged by the process. Fortunately, the MRS Draft isn’t bound by the same constraints as the NBA Draft. You don’t have to worry about maintaining speed or agility, lifting weights or being a certain height (well maybe…lol). You only have to concern yourself with being the best YOU possible. You cannot allow yourself to become stagnant in life worrying about something you don’t have any control over. If you are impatient you could always apply the ‘Love and Hip Hop’ approach and chase, date and propose to your man? However, I would DEFINITELY advise you to stay away from that approach because it doesn’t work too well!
Will you be selected in the MRS Draft? I’m not sure…only God has that answer. However, you can control living your life and continue bettering yourself so you attract QUALITY people around you. Living a quality, impactful and purposeful life should be your primary focus, while allowing God to handle the other details that are out of your control!