Have you booked the Can You Do It Standing Up? college tour for your school yet? Allow me to bring my real-talk forum about love, relationships and impacts of sexual decisions to your college students.
Your students will learn valuable lessons they can apply to their lives IMMEDIATELY!
I enjoy helping people take better care of their money and improve their relationships. However, I LOVE leading the charge towards the cause of celibacy and abstinence. Check out my interview on PeachtreeTV’s Public Affairs.
No matter how much you attempt to progress professionally, it has no direct benefit on your ability to attract and experience love. It doesn’t matter how many meetings you lead, how many deals you close, or how many business problems you solve.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve heard news come out about the failed marriages of politicians, athletes, entertainers, pastors, and various business leaders. Unfortunately, their million-dollar net worth had no impact on their ability to save their marriages. The reality is, no matter how much money you have you can’t buy true love.
As I sit back and think about the people in my life who have been able to successfully navigate the peaks and valleys of marriage, it truly comes down to a few key principles:
- Learn the art of friendship. Today’s society has created a cart before the horse mentality in the minds of those seeking relationships. We have been trained to identify someone whom we are attracted to, talk on the phone for a couple of days, go out to dinner and a movie, and then pursue an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, this formula has led us to a culture of practicing divorce. Because we haven’t built a solid friendship with the person we are pursuing an intimate relationship with, it’s very easy to abort ship when things in the relationship start to go awry. True friendship keeps you anchored during trying times. This principle works for the CEO who makes millions of dollars or for the blue-collar worker who makes minimum wage.
Single women: Would you date a man who is absolutely committed to celibacy?
No sex until marriage. Not even once. And it’s not negotiable.
Kenny Pugh, author, financial professional, motivational speaker, is taking an unconventional approach to life as a black man in 2013: Sexual abstinence.
At 38 years old, Pugh is black, male and heterosexual, and hasn’t had sex in more than seven years. And he doesn’t plan to be sexually intimate with a woman until he gets married.
“I’ve been celibate for seven years and I’m an advocate for a lifestyle that empowers people to make good decisions about relationships moving forward,” Pugh said in a recent interview with BlackAmericaWeb.com.
It’s an old-school philosophy in a new-age era because sex, Pugh says, clouds good judgment. But some women aren’t down for celibacy, Pugh said, and some openly question if he’s really heterosexual.
Pugh, a contributing writer with Black Enterprise magazine, is promoting his new book: “Can You Do It Standing Up: A Different Position On Relationships.”
If you can stay disciplined, abstinence might help keep your finances in order
When I first released my book Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships, I was constantly asked about my inspiration for writing it. My first reason was to help improve people’s relationships spiritually, personally and interpersonally. My second reason was because I am a BIG advocate for abstinence! In this era of “try it before you buy it,” people seem to be sharing almost everything but marriage covenants. This approach to life has directly/indirectly influenced a shift in our family structure, how people view themselves, how people relate to one another and ultimately the next generation.
Now before you tune-out, please continue reading to consider how sex can cost you…literally.
Prevention of Pregnancy & STDs – When you examine the price you pay in order to protect against pregnancy or STDs, it can cost you $250-$600/year for condoms or birth control pills. Imagine if you were able to remove this expense and deposit that same amount into a savings or investment account? Or better yet, apply this to outstanding credit card or other outstanding debt?
Treatment of STDs – Our country experiences 19 million new infections every year. There is an associated cost for treating these diseases to the tune of roughly $13Billion (according to the Center for Disease Control). If you happen to be one of the individuals impacted by an STD, it may result in you having to pay for an unpleasant visit to the clinic for a shot, or ongoing treatment (in the case of HIV, herpes, etc.). You may never find yourself in this category, but if you do…it can cost you.
Unplanned Pregnancy – I hear countless stories about unplanned pregnancies by women from all walks of life. Whatever led to the pregnancy, there is an associated cost to raise a child. A momentary rush of pleasure can result in a drastic lifestyle shift requiring you to now account for $13,055/per year in order to raise a child. This cost doesn’t even account for some of the additional expenses like activities, private school, etc.
Abstinence – Abstinence is free choice and is the best measure for preventing against pregnancy and STDs. It will cost you a little bit of mind power for dealing with the many sexual messages promoted daily in our society, as well as the peer-pressure you’ll undoubtedly receive. However, you won’t have to include sex-related activities as a line item in your monthly budget and subject yourself to some of the items listed above.
There is a commercial that I enjoy that can help shed light on this topic:
- Box of Condoms (36 count) – $20.79 or roughly $250/year
- Supply of Birth Control Pills – $180 – $600/year
- Abortion – $400+
- Cost to treat STDs for the US Health Care System – $13Billion (according to the Center for Disease Control)
- Cost to Raise a Child – $13,055
- Abstinence – FREE
- Peace of Mind – Priceless
Kenny Pugh is a Life & Relationship Strategist, Author of ‘Can You Do It Standing Up?’, Speaker, Host of the Chat Kafe Radio Show (http://www.chatkafeonline.com), singles leader and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, finances and life. You can find more information about Kenny at http://www.kennypugh.com. You can follow him on Facebook at Kenny Pugh or on Twitter @mrkennypugh.