I recently had a conversation with a friend about a young lady he is currently dating. He asked me a question regarding debt, and whether it should be considered when evaluating a potential life partnership. On the surface this question may seem a little bit shallow, but allow me to share further details from the rest of our conversation.
The young lady — let’s call her Karen — has pursued multiple levels of higher education (BS, MS, doctoral degree) in order to further her professional career. However, pursuit of her additional degrees has led to student loans totaling around $180,000. Now at this point you may have your own feelings one way or another about this student loan amount, but my friend expressed the concern.
Click here to continue reading –> http://www.blackenterprise.com/money/love-marriage-whats-debt-got-to-do-with-it/
In reflecting on the state of today’s relationships and marriages, I’m becoming more and more sensitive to the elements currently causing them to fail.
With the divorce rate currently hovering above 50 percent, we have to begin evaluating the various sources of discord and discontentment. One of the sources typically cited by those counseling couples going through divorce is the area of finance. As I personally consider my understanding of marriage and its symbolism of two people becoming united as one, I wonder if any insight on financial trust can be gained in how two people manage their bank accounts.
Click here to continue reading–> http://www.blackenterprise.com/money/does-a-joint-account-indicate-trust-in-a-relationship/
I received an email from one of my radio show listeners the other day asking my thoughts about lending money in relationships. I have to first start by saying this is a very tricky situation to consider. Requests for loans in relationships are typically associated with trying to meet the need of someone you deeply care about. Whether it’s for rent, student loans, car payments or to pursue a dream; it can be very uncomfortable trying to decide whether lending money to someone you’re in a relationship with is the right thing to do.
Here are three points to consider:
1. Evaluate the Person’s Character – Character is a great indicator of a person’s likelihood to repay the loan. Creditors utilize credit reports as a way to evaluate a person’s financial character. If they see something on the credit report that is somewhat questionable, they decline the applicant or ask for additional information. You should also consider a person’s character before making a decision to lend money. You may not have access to their credit report, but you should have an idea of how he/she manages their personal affairs if you’re considering lending money.
Click here to continue reading–> Lending Money in Relationships
Are you being realistic about your worthiness?
There is no shortage of media dedicated to addressing the ‘epidemic’ of singleness in our society.
We’re entertained by men and women who discuss their plights as to why each of them, as a quality candidate, is still single. There are never enough quality men to choose from, women say. There are always too many “high potential” women to sort through, men complain.
And so on and so on.
Unfortunately, too many of us have a higher self-appraisal of ourselves than what others are willing to view as true relationship value. It’s sort of like the homeowner who thinks their home is worth $400,000, when the true market value based on recent sales is really $300,000. Sometimes, you need to be your harshest critic.
On the relationship market, think of yourself as an asset that requires investment.
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Does having bad credit not make you marriage eligible?
As a life and relationships strategist to single adults, I find it very interesting when I come across men and women who feel as though they are truly ready for a committed relationship. The first question I generally ask is, “Have you, or are you continuing to develop yourself in all areas (e.g. spiritual, physical, social and financial) of your life?” The initial response is usually a resounding yes.
However, there is often one area many hide from: credit. When two individuals marry they connect to the credit history of their mate.
What will your mate inherit when they marry you?
Credit is often the elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. I am by no means advocating that you pull a copy of someone’s credit report — or offer up your own on the first or second date. However, I do encourage you to begin working on your credit during your “single season” and to continue once you’re married.
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What can commitment values teach us about investment?
The modern day approach to relationships is pretty predictable and standard. Man meets woman. They exchange information. They go out. Man taps into the mind of the woman or vice versa. The ability to seize control of a person’s mind usually results in an open heart and open body experience. It’s usually that easy.
Unfortunately, when you cross certain boundaries in relationships, it usually leads to a change in appreciation of the relationship. Tupac stated it best in his song I Get Around: “I don’t want it if it’s that easy!”
This can be better translated as I won’t want you if it’s that easy!
Now there is nothing wrong with the above (as long as it’s with the person you are married to). However, the equation has gone from a Hollywood fairy tale, to a merry-go-round experience with the flavor of the week. Would you share your retirement account with someone who isn’t invested? Well, why share all of yourself with someone who hasn’t made a commitment through marriage.
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