I can say with absolute certainty that most people within the sound of my literary voice are connected to some folks who are detrimental to their growth and development. To be unequally yoked means to be connected or tied to someone who does not have the same beliefs, desires and/or goals as you. Many misinterpret this idea as only being relevant to marriage relationships. However, this idea of being unequally yoked applies to marriage relationships, business partnerships, family relationships as well as personal friendships.

Why is it important to avoid being unequally yoked to others in your life?

1. It Provides A False Positive - Do people keep disappointing you? It could be because you are trying to find comfort in associations that seem good externally, but they are destructive and counter-productive to you internally and emotionally. You will recognize false-positive individuals because they make you feel good, but their motives aren’t beneficial to your overall well-being. Release yourself from individuals who talk a good game, but never bring fulfillment to their many promises. Make sure you have at least one ‘true positive’ influence in your Fav 5.

2. It Promotes Fatigue In Your Life - Do you feel tired? It could be because you are tired from carrying too many people in your life. In order to maintain a positive energy, you need people in your life that will encourage you. God designed us all to operate most effectively when we have sails in our inner circle and not anchors. People who are unequally yoked will cause you unnecessary emotional fatigue and work to drive you crazy (family members included). No wonder many of you are constantly tired…you are being worn out from carrying everyone around you. Release the dead weight from your inner circle and ensure you keep some ‘sails’ as part of your Fave 5.

3. It Prohibits You From Reaching Your Potential - Are you wondering why you are still at the same place in life? It could be because you are surrounded by people who are complacent and their mindset has rubbed off on you. It is no coincidence that birds of a feather typically flock together. Your goal should be to surround yourself with individuals who are continually trying to better themselves. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy for you to never reach your potential because of the company you keep? Realign the people in your life so you can reach the aspirations that are waiting to be birthed from inside of you. It is a must to replace ‘stinking thinking’ individuals with those aspiring to reach higher heights. You definitely need people who are above your current level of aspirations in your Fave 5. They will keep you working to achieve more in your life.

When you allow yourself to be unequally yoked to those who don’t add value, you receive false positives, you experience fatigue in your life and your life potential is stunted. Why allow yourself to go through this when you have the ability to change and control your associations?

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A couple of months ago I had the opportunity to catch-up with an old friend of mine who is now a professor at Georgetown University. Our discussion picked-up as if we’ve had regular conversation over the past ten years, which had not been the case. Our conversation focused on my ministry dealing with relationships. He posed an interesting question that caused me to stop and reflect for moment. He asked, “Why is a woman’s body considered the prize?” I actually found the question quite odd, but at the same time definitely relevant. Many of us (men) have been taught that a woman’s body is the prize, dessert or night cap to winning her over. However, during the process of trying to prescribe a woman’s body as the reward, we fail to teach women how to adequately guard their hearts, which often leads to the release of their bodies. That’s a whole different blog discussion.

Even more puzzling is this. During the process of elevating a woman’s societal prized possession (her body) as the goal, we are neglecting to teach young boys and young men to treasure their bodies as prizes too. Media and entertainment offer ongoing messages to our younger generation that cause them to become curious about their sexuality. At 12 and 13 years of age, young boys are exploring outlets to learn more about sex and in the process no one is saying anything. Fathers will slap high five with their son upon learning about their son’s first sexual encounter. I wonder if we would do the same thing to our daughters who are often the victims of these encounters? Beginning at very young ages, young boys begin putting miles on their bodies which starts the gradual decrease in their long-term value. We need to start teaching young men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

Men are programmed at very early ages that our body’s value is based on quantity of women we sleep with and we begin operating in such a manner to substantiate this theory. It is no longer uncommon for men to have lost their virginity by the age of 13. Should lost virginities really be celebrated at this age? We need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

It is no coincidence that many marriages fail due to infidelity and I personally believe this can be traced back to imbalanced teachings on the value of sex and our bodies. If the family, church, community and school systems would ever come together in unity to reinforce this message, I believe it will have a positive impact in the turn around of our society. We need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

It works sort of like a used car. A used automobile is often purchased at a price based on year, make and model. However, the wild card is often the number of miles the vehicle currently has on it…the higher the mileage, the lower the value. Similarly, women join with men in marriage (spiritual purchase). Each husband has a certain year (age), make (ethnicity), model (size, shape, etc.), but the mileage varies based on experience. The more mileage a man puts on his ‘jimmy’, the lower in value it can become. The greater the mileage put on his ‘jimmy’, the more difficult it is for him to understand its true value outside of the ‘seek and conquer’ mentality.

I don’t know your thoughts, but we really need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

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