The main question I’ve been asked by several women readers is this… ‘Are there any men willing to accept a woman’s preference to remain celibate?’ This question is asked because there is already a perceived shortage of quality men that exist in this world we live in. However, it is valid because if you as a virtuous woman place another requirement on your potential mate will you ever find him? The answer is this…I’ve found that there are men in the church who desire to live a life of purity and who wish to adhere to the commandments of God. There are some men that will require your encouragement and guidance along the journey, but isn’t that a key component of what helpmeet does? You have to outline your desires upfront and establish boundaries that are clearly defined to any potential suitors in your life. Men are visual creatures and will typically encounter the greater turbulence in the pursuit of purity. The main thing is to be able to evaluate a man’s ‘true heart’ and not become sidetracked if he has a momentary ‘flesh moment.’ ALL men (including casual churchgoers, ushers, preachers, deacons and other church leaders) will test your boundaries at some point during the journey. Be Strong!

Ask yourself this question, “Have I gained any advantage by giving myself sexually to the men I was with in the past?” If you are currently unmarried and not a virgin, then the answer is NO! The men you have sexually connected to in the past have taken a piece of you that you can no longer retrieve and you only have experience to show for it. Sex typically delays the destiny of a relationship headed for failure. There is no correlation between giving yourself sexually and the success of relationships. None! Not only do you connect yourself to someone who is undeserving, but you also disappoint your heavenly Father who watches over you.

Don’t get it twisted…I have also come to find out that many women will test boundaries in this journey so it’s definitely a two-way responsibility by both involved parties. Throughout my journey I’ve had experiences where I’ve gotten caught-up in my flesh and had to be ‘checked’ by the woman I was with. I have also been ‘tested’ by women I have gone out with and had to reject sexual advances that were made towards me. At the end of the day, it takes two dedicated individuals to pursue relational purity. When one is weak the other one needs to be strong and vice versa.

Is anyone perfect? NO! So if you stumble during your pursuit, then get yourself up, brush yourself off, repent and get back on the road that you know God desires for you. IT IS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE AND IS NOT EASY!!! However, God always provides a way of escape for difficult and compromising situations. During potentially intimate moments your cell phone may ring, you may receive a text message from friend, the Holy Spirit may convict you, but you have to be willing to recognize the signs when they appear. There is a constant war between flesh and spirit and Paul describes it best in Romans 7:14-25. Check it out as a devotional reading! Peace and blessings.